my shiny new blog..

so here i am.. starting this up. creating this space for myself. and, because.. i don't really feel safe writing it all down elsewhere. we all have secrets. we all have things in our head we don't share with everyone. especially, when most of us compartmentalize our lives, our friends, even our thoughts. this is where i get to let it all out. unleash the demons... and the embarrasingly warm fuzzy things, too. it all belongs here. no one shall be turned away.

i do love to write. once, i thought.. yes, i'll be a writer. i'll tell the world my stories. i'll expose the best and the worst of life. i'll fuel our young minds the way my puttied mind was fired up. i was all sunshine and rainbows about it. you know, that youthful.. -i can do anything- feeling and mindset. this was before i discovered Henry Rollins.. and realized.. that he had written what I had written. my dream of writing had turned into just that.. a freakin' dream.

wait, aren't we all just stealing from everyone? aren't we all theives? hasn't everything been written? it was a simple line, a line that both Henry Rollins and myself had written... and a blow to the idea that my thoughts were merely my own. my words were mine. ownership.

i would need to be good, no i would need to be really real good. no, i would need to be completely original. hey, there hasn't been a me before. of course, who would really like to know what i know? read about my life, or stories about lives, or ideas? shit, i hope that i have an original thought to share. obviously, going to school for writing.. soon fell out the window. and "we all fall out the window..." to quote the Violent Femms who are probably quoting someone else.

or maybe.. i just threw some years on my back and figured.. i'm not good enough at it to really do it. ... well, whatever it was. fuck it.

there is nothing like actually getting started. i will only write for myself. i will only write for fun. i won't be trying to be good at it. i won't be writing for an audience. i'll just be getting things out of my head. i won't worry about grammar or spelling errors. basically.. i will let my thoughts flow without filter. here is to my first foot print in this direction. so far it feels good.